I'm always surprised by people who tell me that they are not concerned about certain fraudulent threats out there because they are aware enough to avoid it. We are primarily talking about interactions with people (through personal interaction, email, telephone, etc.). This is not about database breaches.

I try to help people understand that their confidence is the very perspective that makes them vulnerable to scams. Many people erroneously assume that as long as they are skeptical and aware then they hold a strong, safe position. Big mistake. Scams work because there is something unknown to you, even when you are skeptical. And regardless of what you think you know, you probably cannot predict what that is, making it unknown. THAT kind of slight of hand is why it works.

The basis is that your confidence is what opens the door to give the crook access to something, like key information, a location, a key person, your signature, etc. And, of course, their supreme confidence is sometimes what fuels your confidence, but that is not always the case. Sometimes, if you are skeptical of them, then they can use your confidence that they may be dishonest as the way to get you to let them scam you. It's crazy.

The crook can do a circumstantial judo move on you. In judo, you push on the person so they will push back in resistance. Then you quickly switch to a pull action and use their energy against them to pull them where you want them, which often is flat on their back.

Similarly, the con artist will get you to think that you need to protect yourself from one or two obvious vulnerabilities. He gains your confidence in the situation by allowing you to do those things your way to make you feel ironclad safe. He may even resist at first, to reel you in. In that case, he does not need you to feel any confidence in him, just in the situation itself. After all, what you are concerned about, is not even what he is really going to do. He has unknown plans. Your confidence that you know what is what is his doorway inside your world.

In the below instance, the woman probably thought she was following safe protocols. She was probably being careful and thoughtful in her conversation with the man who said he wanted to repair her fence. However, by doing nothing other than engaging with the con artist, she played perfectly into his hands even though she never hired him or allowed him into her house.

Be very careful with unknown people and situations. Whatever you think you know or see may not be the real story. Just speaking with someone can play right into their hands. You may think that you have given up nothing, while in reality, in that so-called "useless" exchange you may have unknowingly given up everything the crook wanted.

They KNOW what they are doing. You may THINK that you know what you are doing. But you usually DO NOT know what they are really doing. I'm trained in fraud, and I still follow the humble approach that I may not know what someone is really up to. Everyone can be conned, including me. Just walk away and only engage with those that you seek on your own.

According to the Grapevine Police Department, a pair of people conned an elderly couple. A man knocked on a home door and told the elderly lady that he was there to repair her fence. She said she would meet him in the back yard, probably thinking that she was following a safe protocol by controlling his access. The problem was that her mere conversation was exactly what opened the door to the con. They talked in the back yard for about 15 minutes about different concerns and options. Then suddenly the man said he realized that he was at the wrong house. He immediately walked to the front yard, where he entered a van with a waiting driver and they immediately departed. The woman thought no more about it.

What the woman did not know or anticipate was that while they had talked in the safety of the back yard, the man's companion entered the house and stole expensive items from inside the home. The homeowner was kept busy by the first man. The lady was unaware that anything had happened until her husband arrived home and discovered the full measure of what had happened, a burglary. Now they are missing some important things in their lives, because she had confidence that she was being smart and careful. That was exactly what the con artist wanted her to think. He used her distrust to trick her into doing exactly what he wanted.